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Self Esteem FAQ

End negative thoughts - you need to read this!

Self talk and esteem

What you say to yourself is important and influences your self esteem and confidence in a positive or negative way. Ideally you should talk encouragingly to yourself, after all if you do not encourage yourself who will? The world is full of negative people or those who try to put you down so to be strong you need a defence.

Where does negative self talk come from?

1. One of the best explanations I have heard is outlined in a wonderful book called the Four Agreements - inside you have an inner judge who is more critical than anybody you've ever met, he/ she is unforgiving and lethal to your self confidence and success. I've read this book many times and I'll read it again for sure! Four Agreements book 
2. Your parents have such an affect on you that their words can become buried in your brain and phrases echo around your head. Sometimes you hear your father's comments in a situation you've experienced before only this time you're telling yourself the same thing!
3. If you hear the same negative comments too often you may believe them and tell yourself what others think is true. negative thinking - find out how to beat it.
4. Excuses not to try something risky. But if you always stay with what's safe and never take a risk you will never reach your potential to succeed big time. You will turn away opportunities before you even think about them.
5. Lack of self esteem and confidence makes you likely to be very negative about yourself and easily defeated. Low self esteem brings with it very negative self talk. Here's a great course which will help you to improve your self confidence - now! 

The power of self talk

Thoughts precede moods so if you think unhappy thoughts you feel unhappy. Self talk is your thoughts making themselves known to you. Hearing somebody else talking negatively is bad enough so imagine how much more hearing your own inner voice is. If you tell yourself you are a failure, guess what, you will be! If you tell yourself you can succeed then you have a much improved chance of succeeding.

Negative self talk can lead to low self esteem, no confidence or even depression and this leads to more negative thought. A vicious circle.

How to help yourself

• Use visualisation and affirmations - check out my affirmations page
• Build your self esteem and confidence - this website is filled with ideas on this so browse the whole site. Try Building your self esteem - you will love this self hypnosis program. It really works!
• Don't accept others putting you down, tell others you don't agree and that they are wrong about you!
• Use your faith - the Christian religion teaches all men are equal and the Bible is a great source of awe-inspiring quotes and confidence boosting ideas. Your faith will help you be stronger.
• Be easier on yourself, forgive yourself and be kinder to yourself. 
• Do something to help others. You will feel happier and more satisfied. You will respect yourself more.
• Talk to yourself in a positive way - if you hear that negative inner voice cut it off and disagree with it! 

Recommended Books:

#1 What to say when you talk to yourself - "I couldn't get enough of this book, and before I was finished, I "accidentally" found myself being more upbeat and positive.  I can't recommend enough that you read this book!"

#2 Self Talk: Key to Personal Growth - "There is power in words--especially the words you speak to yourself. You become what you say you are. I highly recommend the book for people ready for a positive change"

#3 Overcoming myth of self-worth: Reason and fallacy in what you say to yourself - This book can transform your life for the better without anything mystical. Each chapter is an adventure

© 2004 Karl Perera   all rights reserved