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Relationships and your Self Esteem

 

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by Karl Perera

Self esteem affects your relationships and the reverse is true also.

How does self esteem affect your relationships?

  • Low self esteem will affect your relationships negatively
  • It may make you attract negative people into your life

If you have low self esteem you won't be able to relate to others well. You may feel a lack of confidence in social situations. Your body language may be negative and you will not respond to others positively.

If you do not behave confidently others may take advantage of this by criticising you making you feel worse. Your manner is likely to make others respond coldly and this will damage your relationship with others further. Read how you can improve your communication skills.

Relationships you have had for a while can quickly go downhill if you suffer from low self worth. Even the best of friends will grow tired of someone who cannot help himself / herself.

You may take on a victim mentality. This means you will blame everyone and everything for how you feel. You will not be able to relate to others well because you will act like a victim rather than an equal.    

How do relationships affect your self esteem?

  • Problems in a relationship can lower your self esteem and confidence
  • Rejection often causes problems with self confidence and how you feel about yourself
  • Criticism generates low self esteem
  • Abusive relationships have a hugely negative affect

Relationship problems really hit you hard. They can make you depressed and increase your stress. Arguments can really fuel your self doubt because you will exchange critical and hurtful words with the other person.

Relationship problems cause anger and frustration. Blame is thrown around as you argue. You may feel guilty afterwards and all these negative feelings can put a huge strain on you.

Rejection is another problem. If you feel rejected by a friend or partner this is a huge blow to your confidence and self worth. Rejection can make you believe there is something wrong with you or that you deserve to be rejected. The real problem with rejection is that how others feel about you affects your self esteem and confidence. This is something you need to get hold of. Working on your self esteem will help you become stronger inside and the opinions of others will not have such power over you anymore.

Criticism is mutually damaging. Obviously, criticism from others will hurt you but when you criticize others you invite a negative response and possible guilt when you think about what you have said in the heat of the moment.

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Abusive relationships can destroy your self esteem because abuse hurts on so many levels. The scars can last for the rest of a victim's life. Unfortunately many victims of abuse blame themselves which is particularly so with child victims.

Whatever problems you have in your relationships there are many ways to get help. I am a qualified Life Coach - visit this page to get a free Life Coaching session with me and discover how I can help you one to one.

How can you build your self esteem and improve your relationships?

You can take steps each day to build confidence and feel better about yourself. Let's look at a few of the most important steps you can take to build your self esteem:

  • Understand that the way someone treats you says more about the other person than it does about you. If a person is abusive or treats you badly it shows that they have a problem. Maybe they are angry at the world or at themselves and are taking it out on you. They need help to sort this out.
  • Often by feeling rejected you will do the same and reject others and maybe go as far as rejecting everything in your life even yourself. To change this you need to look for what is good about you and your life and focus on those things. This change will mean you'll stop rejecting and encouraging others to reject you.
  • The next most important thing to do is to look for the good in others and stop finding fault in your partner. Sometimes partners can get into a small war and this is fought with finding fault in each other. True love means changing this so you see the good in your partner and forget the negative. Expect your partner to behave better and be the person you know they can be. Finding fault only encourages them to do the same and that is no way to live.
  • Probably the best thing you can do today to help yourself build self esteem and confidence is to accept who you are and understand what makes you unique. Ask yourself: "What talents and strengths do I have?" When you understand that there is so much good inside you and that you are a uniquely gifted person then you will feel so much better about who you are. This will enable you to face the world more positively and your relationships will reflect this amazing change. 

Replace rejection with acceptance and fault finding with looking for positives and your life and self esteem will be so much better.

I hope that this short article has been helpful to you. Take a look around at the rest of the site which is filled with information about different aspects of self esteem. I suggest you also read my exciting e-book for even more help:

Get a copy of my e-book "Self Esteem Secrets" - Discover simple, easy to remember tactics to skyrocket your self-esteem!

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