Although the play Gas Light is from 1938, according to Fuchsman<\/a>, (in his article for the Journal of Psychohistory), the term gaslighting started to be used in the 1960s and became popular after Donald Trump started campaigning to become President of the United States.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A gaslighter seeks to manipulate another or others into thinking that their own perceptions of reality are mistaken, and for the gaslightee to believe what the manipulator claims instead.<\/p>Ken Fuchsman. The Journal of Psychohistory, 2019<\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Being gaslighted for an extended period of time can make you feel worthless, unloved, and unwanted. Gaslighting is toxic and manipulative behavior, and sometimes recovery can take some time. Learning how to deal with gaslighting isn\u2019t easy, but it is <\/em>doable. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Building up your self-esteem will take some time and effort, but if you stay positive and keep at it, you\u2019ll learn how to deal with gaslighting. You’ll find a completely different person looking back at you in the mirror. Let\u2019s go over some of the steps to take to build up your self-esteem after being a victim of gaslighting<\/a>.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n The early stages of recovery are probably the most difficult. It\u2019s hard to trust people once you realize you\u2019ve been gaslighted. It can be complicated to learn how to deal with gaslighting because of the trauma you have suffered. This can make you question people\u2019s motives and wonder if you\u2019re being gaslighted even when you\u2019re not. <\/p>\n\n\n\n While it\u2019s important to memorize warning signs and be aware of potential gaslighting, it\u2019s important to understand that gaslighting isn\u2019t something mentally healthy and loving people do to each other. <\/p>\n\n\n\n To gaslight someone is a devious act with nothing but the worst of intentions in mind. Most gaslighters suffer from some kind of mental health<\/a> condition (narcissistic personality disorder being a good example) and some gaslighters just want to control other people. Either way, it\u2019s emotional manipulation and nothing less. One of the first steps in learning how to deal with gaslighting is to free yourself of this manipulation. But how?<\/p>\n\n\n\n What follows are steps you can follow to help yourself but please also seek professional guidance and support from a psychotherapist<\/em>.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Take things slow in the beginning. Take some time to yourself to reflect on the situation, the relationship, and where you want to go from here. It\u2019s ok to step back from other relationships for a bit to self-analyze and formulate a plan. Just don\u2019t let the fact that you\u2019ve been mistreated consume you. Yes, it hurts, but you\u2019ve made it through, and now it\u2019s time to work towards recovery. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Support groups exist for all kinds of recovery; from alcoholism and trauma and even gaslighting. If you\u2019re not comfortable sharing your story with a support group, you can try personal therapy or confide in a trusted friend or family member. <\/p>\n\n\n\n None of us has the strength to make it through all <\/em>of life\u2019s challenges completely alone. Being human means making mistakes, slipping up, and facing the consequences of our mistakes; but that doesn\u2019t mean you have to do it alone. A support group can let you know not only that you\u2019re not alone <\/em>in your struggle, but also that there\u2019s a future on the other side of your trauma. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n A support group doesn\u2019t have to be full of strangers or even host in-person meetings. There are online support resources available for a number of conditions and traumas, and online support groups are becoming more popular as we\u2019re sheltering in place from COVID-19. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Digital support groups are usually free, so you don\u2019t have to worry about paying a hosting fee or anything of the sort. There are even online<\/a> counselors you can talk to (these will charge a fee, however). <\/p>\n\n\n\n Although group therapy works for many, you might prefer one to one counselling or therapy sessions. These days, you can get support from a professional from the comfort of your own home. One service that is one of my best choices is BetterHelp<\/a>. This link is a helpful guide as to whether or not therapy may be covered by your medical insurance. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Gaslighters have a way of making their victims feel like everything <\/em>is their fault. That\u2019s part of the control; if you\u2019re questioning everything you do all <\/em>the time, your abuser never seems to be in the wrong. You start blaming yourself, and in combination with your abuser\u2019s efforts, you start thinking rather poorly about yourself as a person. <\/p>\n\n\n\n First thing\u2019s first: it\u2019s not <\/em>your fault you were abused and manipulated<\/a>. There are people in this world that simply want to hurt and control others. The fact that these people exist is beyond your control. Even getting involved with someone of that caliber is out of your control if you don\u2019t know what to look for. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Manipulators are usually very <\/em>good at not only hiding their true intentions, but also keeping their true selves hidden until they\u2019ve gained the level of control they wanted. And once you\u2019re under their spell, it can take some serious effort and thinking on your part to break out. <\/p>\n\n\n\n It wasn\u2019t your fault, but you are <\/em>responsible for taking steps towards a better future now that you\u2019ve made it through. You owe it not only to you<\/em>, but also to any future relationships you might develop. <\/p>\n\n\n\n![\"Hypno-low-self-esteem-pack-2\"](\"https:\/\/more-selfesteem.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/Hypno-low-self-esteem-pack-2.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\nEarly Recovery <\/h2>\n\n\n\n
First Steps<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Find Support<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
![\"how](\"https:\/\/more-selfesteem.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/help-300x252.png\")
<\/figure>\n\n\n\nUnderstand That The Maltreatment Was Not Your Fault<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Guard Yourself Against Future Manipulation<\/h2>\n\n\n\n