![\"\"](\"https:\/\/more-selfesteem.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/My-Post-6.jpg\")
<\/a>Why Might You Be Trying to Be a Perfectionist?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
The drive to be perfect often comes from the need for and lack of approval and acceptance that who we are and what we do is good enough. In this way, it is very often connected to your self-esteem. If we don\u2019t ever achieve this feeling, it can inevitably lead to believing that what we do is never enough. That is not a healthy or happy place to be. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Perfectionism lives and breathes in the fear of making a mistake that will lead to disapproval and can lead to anxiety that affects you mentally and physically. Bren\u00e9 Brown is a writer and research professor at the University of Houston who states that perfection is not about healthy achievement and growth, it is used by many people as a shield to protect against the pain of judgment, blame, or shame. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n There are several signs of perfectionism<\/a>, which can include:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Are any of the above true for you? If they are, you need help to stop being a perfectionist and to start living a more relaxed and happy life. Keep reading to learn what you can do to help yourself get off the perfectionism train and change your life and outlook…<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you are wondering if you are someone who is being a perfectionist, here are some more questions to ask yourself to discover the truth, are you or aren’t you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you answered yes to the second option in the above questions, then perhaps you are to some degree a perfectionist. We all are at times, the question is to what degree are you a perfectionist? And how does it affect your day-to-day life?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Perfectionism can cause a lot of problems if you let it…so let’s discuss this and how it relates to your self-esteem<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you are a perfectionist this may cause you to experience many problems. Perfectionism can:<\/p>\n\n\n\n One by one, let’s take a look at the points above and you’ll see why it is so important to stop being such a perfectionist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Perfectionism can prevent you from experiencing satisfaction from anything you achieve. A perfectionist believes that nothing he or she does is good enough, because only perfection is acceptable. The trouble is perfection doesn’t exist. You are therefore driving yourself to achieve the unachievable which can only end in disappointment. This can get even worse when self-sabotage<\/a> strikes, the act of stopping yourself from moving forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A perfectionist often has low self-esteem because he\/ she can’t accept himself\/ herself as he\/ she really is – imperfect. Imperfection is what makes you human.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Likewise, you cannot be happy if you cannot accept the world or your life as it is. You will constantly try to make everything perfect, which is impossible. You need to stop worrying<\/a> instead of trying to fix everything. Happiness depends on acceptance and joy in the present, with how things are now.<\/strong> Chasing something that is not possible except in your mind may drive you crazy and stress you out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Overcoming perfectionism can improve self-esteem and increase<\/a> happiness. What about relationships?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Self esteem and happiness play their part in a good relationship<\/a>. What’s more, people in relationships need to help each other grow in self-esteem and happiness. If one person in a relationship is a perfectionist they will demand perfection from the other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Perfectionists create stress on themselves and on their friends or partners and are very demanding. Relationships need give and take and acceptance of one another’s faults is a big part of that. If you cannot accept the reality of your partner’s or your own faults then you may drive your partner away from you or hurt them when you criticize.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Overcoming perfectionism will reward you with better relationships because you will stop demanding that your partner become exactly what you want and without any faults.<\/strong> That’s never going to happen!<\/p>\n\n\n\n As the famous song from that Disney movie so eloquently put it, this is one of the keys to releasing the need to be perfect. It is so important to realize that nothing will ever be perfect. That piece of writing, song, business proposal, you name it. There is always something that could be changed, tweaked, or improved. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Instead of striving for perfection that will only breed anxiety and stress, learn to let it go. <\/strong>A wise professor once told me that as creatives the worse thing we can do is to sacrifice the great in the pursuit of the perfect. You are great, your work is excellent and the world deserves that greatness. Don\u2019t hold onto it just waiting for it to be perfect with the next round of changes. Learning to release the need for perfection can be a huge weight off your shoulders and allow you to live a happier, better life. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n The moral of the story? Let it go!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Mindset is everything. Changing it is not an overnight fix, but if you work on it then it can massively improve your need to be perfect and the overall quality of your life. By cultivating a good-enough mindset that isn\u2019t full of unrealistic expectations you can cultivate a sense of wellbeing and satisfaction.<\/strong> This can be something you do every day. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The first step is realizing when the need to be perfect or do something perfectly pops up in your head. When it does, take time to unpack why you are feeling that way and where it stems from. Maybe you had parents who only were happy if you got an A. Now think about what happens if you let go of the need for that A and get a B instead. Would you still pass? Would you still know you did your best? Changing your mindset to love yourself even when not perfect can allow you to stress less and still achieve great things. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n One of the best ways to let go of being perfect is to do something new that there is a good chance you will be far from an expert at. Starting a new hobby, sport or activity means you will be a novice, and screwing up and failing comes with the territory. If you are a perfectionist it is a great way to desensitize yourself. <\/p>\n\n\n\n So get out there and join a club or try a fitness class that is out of your comfort zone! Start painting or any hobby you have always wanted to try but were afraid you\u2019d be horrible at. Maybe you will be, and that\u2019s ok. You don\u2019t have to perfect. Just enjoying yourself can do wonders for your self-esteem<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n It can be hard to stop trying to be perfect. So many of us grew up with families and other social institutions that rewarded the pursuit of perfectionism. The above three tips can be a great start to work from that constant pursuit of perfection to the cool and calm acceptance that your best is enough and that it is ok to fail, get up and try again, even if perfection is never achieved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Read my son’s great article near-life experience<\/a>. There’s a great and inspiring message there.<\/p>\n\n\n\nAre you a perfectionist? More ways to find out.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
What harm can perfectionism cause you?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
How to Stop Trying to Be Perfect<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
#1 – Let it go!<\/em><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
#2 – Change up your mindset<\/em><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
#3 – Try something new<\/em><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Other ways you can overcome perfectionism<\/h2>\n\n\n\n