Having written about self esteem and related topics for more than twenty years now, and through discussions with those who suffer from low self esteem a recurrent theme that crops up is abandonment. There seems to be a clear connection between abandonment, particularly between family members, and low self-esteem. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
On this page we will look at the research and discuss how the effects of abandonment can be overcome and how a healthy level of self esteem can be restored to those who may have suffered abandonment issues.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Abandonment issues, especially within the family, can cause low self esteem. As Dennis Balcolm (1998)<\/a> explains, abandonment can negatively affect the ability to form and maintain self-esteem and lasting relationships. It can also prevent sufferers from understanding and expressing feelings.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n There are many different kinds of abandonment and each individual may react to abandonment issues differently, so this is a complex subject. Let’s first try to understand abandonment and its effects in terms of self esteem and related problems. After that we will consider what can be done to help those who feel a sense of abandonment and are trying to deal with it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Here are a number of reasons why abandonment may cause low self esteem as well as other related issues:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Close family members are extremely important to us as we develop our emotional and social selves. Self esteem<\/a> can be negatively impacted by abandonment from any close family member, particularly parents. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The first study we will look at is this one<\/a> by Claesson and Sohlberg from 2002.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This study focuses on the feelings of shame and its effects on someone abandoned by their mother. Shame has a profound effect on self esteem because it affects how a person sees him or herself and how they interact socially with others. <\/a><\/strong>Feelings of rejection, low self esteem resulting from this kind of abandonment from a mother can sometimes lead to social phobias, fear and anxiety in connection with relationships and interactions with others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n An by Dennis Balcom, written in 1998, details some of the main abandonment issues resulting from a father abandoning a son. In particular, the article explains the problems of low self esteem and intimacy that abandoned sons often have<\/strong> and suggests ways that these issues could be treated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Unfortunately, according to Balcom, abandonment by fathers seems to occur quite a lot in the US. One major issue is that these abandoned sons seem unable to express emotions or express their feelings with their children and partners later in adulthood. <\/p>\n\n\n\n One major factor which determines how this abandonment affects an abandoned son in life is the reason why the father abandoned the son in the first place. Many sons try to contact the father and discover why they were abandoned because the reason is very important for them and affects them emotionally. <\/p>\n\n\n\n One interesting thing to remember when looking at this kind of abandonment is that it does not have to be a physical abandonment. <\/strong>The effects on a child are negative if the father is no longer a part of the life of the child, either because the father has left the family or he is disconnected emotionally. In other words, a child needs the physical and emotional contact and closeness of a father or mother in order to develop in a healthy way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In 1960, 17% of children did not live with their father and by 1990 this had risen to 36% (Blankenhorn 1995).<\/p>\n\n\n\n According to Balcom (1998), there are two options for treatment for those who have been abandoned by their father:<\/p>\n\n\n\nHow Can Abandonment Cause Self Esteem?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
What Kinds of Abandonment are Most Damaging to One’s Self Esteem?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Effects of Abandonment by Parents <\/h3>\n\n\n\n
How Are These Abandonment Issues Treated?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n