Low self worth is something that can affect your thinking and behaviour in a deeply negative way. If you do suffer from poor self worth, you may wonder why. In this article, we’ll cover reasons why you may have a problem with your self worth and more importantly, what you can do about it.
There are several common reasons why you may suffer from low self worth. The source could be in your upbringing, perhaps because of what happened to you as a child or how you were treated by your parents. Abuse or an event in which you felt like a victim can also cause a struggle with self worth.
Most of those who suffer from low self worth either accept it as who they are and do nothing about it. Others who realize that they need to change the way they think about themselves try to deny or forget the causes and act as if they never happened. Neither of these alternatives really work. Stay on this page for 6 great ideas that could transform your life and boost your confidence!
#1: Understand why you suffer from low self worth
Self-worth is a term that is used to describe how much value an individual places on themselves. It can be measured by the level of respect and love that they have for themselves.
Self worth is closely related to self esteem. Low self esteem does seem to vary with age and according to gender as this graph shows:
From the above graph it seems that low self worth is particularly prevelent between the teenage years and those in their forties. After 50 self worth seems to rise and then drop again for the elderly over about 70.
TTherefore tThe pressures and challenges of life that can contribute towards low self worth seem to be most acute for teenagers, the young and early middle age as well as the elderly. Also, we can clearly see that women are more likely to suffer from low self worth than men.
But why are you struggling with low self worth? What caused it?
Understanding this is the first step toward overcoming it. One great way of doing this is to start writing a daily journal about your thoughts and reactions to what happens to you each day. A journal can reveal more about your feelings and experiences than merely sitting down and thinking about the problem. A journal can uncover the real causes and effects of your low self worth and this can lead to solutions that you can try out.
I strongly advise you to try journaling for at least two weeks or more and discover what it can do for you. In my own experience simply observing and becoming more aware of what happens to you each day and how this changes how you feel about yourself is one of the best exercises you can do and is great therapy! So, even if you don’t like writing, give it a go, you’ll really be glad you did.
#2: Seek the positive
One major step I took in my own personal journey was to seek to increase the positive thoughts in my mind. Let me explain how to do this.
Many people try to replace negative thoughts with positive ones, this seems like a great idea but it is really hard work. What I learned through my own experience of depression and low self-esteem is that negative thoughts are natural and accepting this is an important step to improving your level of self worth. However, if you can take something positive out of a negative that changes everything.
For example, if you are thinking about yourself negatively, you can say, “well, at least I….” and complete this idea with a positive. A concrete example could be “I didn’t express myself well”. You could add something like “at least I had the courage to try to explain myself”.
Another important aspect of positive thinking is to stop filling your head with negatives and try to focus on positive aspects of life. One step is to turn off the news and stop watching all the events that are appearing in the media, they tend to focus on the negative.
Seek out positive news and developments. Read positive inspirational quotes and try to put them into action. Use affirmations to change the way you think about yourself.
A more positive mind can help improve your life in many ways, especially in terms of your self worth.
#3: Give to Others
This one may not seem obvious but helping others by giving can really improve how you feel about yourself. Giving is an unselfish act and can be highly satisfying. Those who suffer from low self worth often tend to focus on themselves too much and this can cause self-consciousness and inner negativity. Giving means you extend your focus to others who are in need of support.
Giving freely of your own time, or out of your own pocket can make a huge difference in the lives of others, and being part of this can boost your sense of self-respect. Also, knowing that your support matters to another can give you a sense of purpose and belonging.
There is no doubt in my mind that giving to others, will reward you in so many positive ways. Increased self worth is just one of these.
#3: Value your Time
Not valuing your time is one way of disrespecting yourself. In fact, time is the most valuable asset you have. Once you realize this, you will be much more careful with how you spend your time.
Those who suffer from low self esteem often experience an inbalance in the use of their time. Other people demand your time and this is normal depending on your responsibilities. However, you deserve a balance between responsibilities and time you spend on you. So, make sure you have time to do the things you love to do. Whatever it is that you love, don’t allow others to stop you.
Taking time out for yourself is essential for mental health and well-being. Valuing your time will build your self worth so don’t neglect this.
#4: What Do You Want?
Establish what it is that you really want in life and this will give you direction. It may require some thought to work out what you want to do in life, so start asking yourself the questions that will make this clear.
As we’ve just seen above spending time on the things that matter to you is important. So knowing what you want in life is key to a happier life. Here are some helpful questions to ask yourself if you’re not sure:
- If you were free to choose what to do in your life, what would that be?
- Do you have a hobby or would you like to start a new one? What would that be?
- Would you like to do something creative? Would you like to learn something new?
- What have you tried before and really enjoyed, how could you make more time to do that again?
If you already know what it is that you want to spend your time on, then you’re lucky. Now we move on to the next step which will help you reach a balance between what you have to do and what you want to do with your valuable time.
#5: Learn How to Say No
Don’t be trapped or pressured into following what others tell you to do. One of the symptoms of low self worth is accepting the demands of others and finding it difficult to say no. In order to value yourself more, you need to become more assertive. Here’s more about how to become more assertive in order to boost your self worth.
Before moving on let me stress that saying no is not selfish, it is your right. Getting the balance right between saying yes and then placing limits on this is what you’re lookng for so that you can have the time and energy to care for your own needs too.
#6: Take Stock of Your Relationships
It is through your relationships that you learn the most about who you are and what you value most in life. Improving your relationships and the quality of the friendships you develop can transform your life.
Also, abusive or toxic relationships can drain you and even cause your self worth to plummet. Once you take stock of your relationships and establish which are most valuable and positive, you’ll need to decide which relationships take priority. If you have a truly toxic person in your life then you will need to think about staying away from that person as much as possible.
As we have already seen, your time should be spent doing what you most want and this is true for relationships. You should spend your time with the positive people in your life and not with those who bring you down.
Spending time to think about your relationships is time well spent as long as you act on this and make the changes that may be necessary.
3 Common Reasons Why You May Be Struggling With Low Self Worth
It can be difficult to understand why you may be struggling with low self-worth, but there are many reasons why this may happen. One of the biggest reasons is because of negative thinking. These negative thoughts include those about yourself, your life, your future, your past, and those other people close to you.
Some common causes of low self-worth are:
- Believing you have a lack of success in life
- Feeling a lack of friendship or family support
- Experiencing an abusive past or present relationship
There are many ways to improve your self-worth, but it all starts with you. You need to believe in yourself and your abilities before anyone else will.
If you feel like you are unsuccessful, you can do something about it by focusing on what successes, no matter how small you have achieved and list them. You can try something new and aim for new heights!
If you feel like you have no support, consider getting professional help or asking a good friend to listen. Speak to those in your family and ask for their support, maybe they might surprise you!
Abusive relationships can hurt us deeply and the issues may need dealing with, if you can’t handle it by yourself seek support from a professional. If it is an existing relationship that you can get out of, do so.
I hope the solutions on this page will help you. Go forth and conquer!