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Overcoming Your Shyness - Tips
Is shyness threatening to destroy your social life? Want to learn how to beat the problem?
You can overcome shyness like I did, just treat it like any other problem and apply these techniques to your situation. There are two important stages involved in any plan to overcome shyness:
1. Facing your problem head on.
Good things will follow if you overcome your shyness. And it starts by facing challenges rather than avoiding them...
2. Building your self confidence as you perform better in challenging situations and progress. Insecurity is at the heart of the problem and you need to deal with this. Also what you think about yourself is vital, how can you become more confident? Improve your self concept first. Read this page to learn about building your self confidence
The first step is facing the problem and tackling it head on. The first thing to do is think of small steps, smaller and less challenging events where you are having problems acting confidently. Gradually as you achieve these you should take on more demanding events and eventually in this way you will build up a list of successes which in turn will build up your confidence and bit by bit knock down your wall of shyness.
Here are a few notes on other things that you can do:
The good news about shyness:
It can be unlearnt and you can make it less and less of an obstacle in your path. My problem was blushing and a huge lack of confidence that was preventing me from enjoying my younger days and was a huge problem at school and college. Then I read one very important book and putting the ideas in it to work I gradually began to regain my life and new confidence. The book I read helped me take control. I have written a page about how you can reduce blushing which contains much of what I have learnt. Imagine being more relaxed and confident and not worrying about blushing...
Don't know how to manage events which cause you to suffer from shyness?
If you find yourself in a situation you find difficult the first thing you need to do is relax
Normally the fear of the situation and the self-consciousness that your shyness brings cause you to panic or become tense and flustered. You feel terrible and fail to act calmly and confidently and this spirals out of control and you start to blush or feel like an idiot and experience physical pain. Do not panic! You just need to calm yourself down and relax in these moments.
This is the technique which will help you relax. Let's say you find yourself in a difficult situation your body will have started to react as if it is in a dangerous or highly stressful situation and your pulse rate and heart rate will jump, muscles will tense and you will feel physical signs of tension and possibly start blushing. Your instinct will be to run and you may feel panicked. What you want is to reverse this and feel confident, calm and in control. Here's what to do:
Click here for more about relaxation technique and learn how to use it to your advantage, conquer your shyness problem and become much more confident in the process!
Can you imagine how your life will change if you are less shy?
If you can do these three steps even partially in a difficult situation you will find it helps but the problem is that sometimes you don't have time to control these at the time when you need to. With practice every day you can learn to do these steps easily and quickly and without being noticed and if you do practice them often they will become automatic. What you actually need to aim for is anticipating situations which are difficult for you and start relaxing before they happen then you will be ready to respond comfortably. This is a long term project and you will only improve gradually so don't give up, it will be worth it!
If you're serious about beating shyness then download Overcoming Shyness - self hypnosis program
© 2005 Karl Perera all rights reserved