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May 2007

Issue no.57  

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In this issue:

new content
main article  
recommended books
your free resources


online counselling

Hope you enjoy the issue!



New Content: :


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new article:

> The secret of adaptation

Quote of the Month

"courage is very important. Like a muscle it is strengthened by use"

Ruth Gordon 



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Main Article

3 Steps to a Better and Happier Life

Author: Ralston Heath

All human pleasure and happiness is experienced through and by emotions. It is in the supreme purpose of all humans to achieve happiness their life. Emotions, also known as feelings, are among a person's most valuable assets. Emotions deliver the ultimate rewards and penalties of a person's life. Without feelings or emotions you could never be happy; you would never experience joy. The emotion of joy is the most sought after prize on this planet.

People go to great effort and expense to feel joy. Joy is often misconstrued and is the least understood of all the emotions.

Once a person has experienced joy they will try again to recreate the feeling any way they can. If that person does not understand their inner self, they will try to achieve joy by external means: They will try drugs, or drink, promiscuity, sadism, masochism, vandalism, thrill crimes, binge eating, purging, or other similar behavior, seeking to once again feel joy.

Human pleasure is experienced by sensory and emotional means. To fully develop into a state of human happiness and experience joy, you must be aware of your emotions and have a guilt-free acceptance of them. You must also be honest with your inner self, and must understand that you are fully responsible for your own well being. A person's happiness truly does revolve around the axis of whether or not a person is being honest with their own self.

Emotions are a real part of every person. To know your self you must learn your feelings, discover your emotions. Not only to share them, but to prevent them from becoming destructive. Have you ever understood the difference between fear and destructive fear? Fear is a response to a stimulus that allows you to prepare for facing adversity. Destructive fear is unreasonable fear, not based on a threat to self or others, and prevents one from taking action. Not just a response action, but any action at all. Unreasonable fear is destructive to self esteem, and low or damaged self esteem will prevent you from feeling happiness and joy.

Emotions are not controlled by any law. There is no conceivable way to legislate emotions. Emotions do not have action. It is only action that can be right or wrong: Only actions can be judged. An individual is always responsible for their actions.

Feeling anger is different from striking out with anger (verbally or physically). You are not forced by your emotions to act. A person only has to take responsibility for their self and choose to either act or not. So it stands to reason that you cannot be found guilty for having an emotion, as long as you do not act...

Some religions try to control the masses by trying to control emotions--when that doesn't work then religion tries to control people by guilt; to make them feel guilty for having a feeling.

To do this, they invented the concept of sin, and with this single concept discovered an effective tool for convincing everyone that they needed religion. Since all humans have a full range of emotions that cannot be controlled by any outside force, you became victimized by religion; convincing you that you were condemned just because of your thoughts, and so were guilty.

You must find those teachings that have been ingrained inside you and UN-learn them. Every human has the right to be happy, to experience joy. There is no sane reason for feeling guilty about an emotion. Sure, you might want to feel guilty for having an angry thought, but as long as you did not act upon your emotion, there is no reason to feel guilty. You can have any emotion you want, and are not guilty of anything. Learn to forgive yourself.

Find what is holding you, and let it go.

To experience joy you must take a few conscious steps. Step one; you must be true to yourself. This is your life; there is no one else inside your skin but you. Know who you are, what you want from your life, and above all be honest with yourself. When you are having negative emotions these are you telling you that you are getting away from your values that make you who you are.

Step two; you need to set a standard for yourself. There is a way of guiding your actions called "always do the right thing."

To do that you must faithfully act with fairness and honesty in all matters that you undertake to accomplish.

Finally step three, do not act solely upon what others think or say. Always use your own independent judgment when doing anything you decide to. Yes, you can seek advice and task direction from others as you learn a skill, or for the performance of your job. However, you must endeavor to not live your life by the demands or wishes of others. If your friends and relatives think you should be a doctor, but you want to be a circus clown, who will be happy if you become a doctor? If you are unclear about the answer to that question ask yourself this:

What is the supreme purpose of all humans? (Hint: read the first


When you are able to think freely, and to act independently and honorably, you will begin to feel happiness. When this happens you are on the right path to joy. Then when you do feel joy, you will know it is yours, and that you can recreate it at will by living up to yourself.

About the author:

Did you find the information useful? You can find more about it at New and Better Universe

See you next month!

For more about self confidence and tips on how to improve yours go to this page now self confidence tips

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More links to check out:

Build your Self Confidence - Hypnosis downloads - quick, easy and guaranteed to help you build your confidence (prepared by experienced psychologists and gets my full recommendation)

the highly recommended CD Trainer

sister website to more-selfesteem, information about depression

an excellent site about personal growth and goal setting amongst other topics.


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