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The Newsletter which helps you improve and build your level of self esteem

June 2005


How's your self esteem? 

This month I have written an article about friends and self esteem as I believe friends are so important a factor in who we are and what we want to become. I do hope you will enjoy this newsletter article and benefit from it. Pleases check out the what's new section to find out what's going on at  

I thought it would be nice if readers would like to contribute to future newsletters or comment about anything related to the subject of self esteem or self improvement. If you would like to contribute then just contact me by email and tell me what you have in mind.

Hope you enjoy this issue and do visit the website again soon,

Karl Perera 

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Food for Thought - (thanks to Jessica Kyeyune for sending me this) 

Yesterday I met a stranger...

Today this stranger is my friend.  Had I not taken the time to say hello, or return a smile, or shake a hand, or listen, I would not have known this person. Yesterday would have turned into today and our chance meeting would be gone.

Yesterday I hugged someone very dear to me. Today they are gone... and tomorrow will not bring them back. Wouldn't it be nice if we all knew tomorrow would be here? But we don't, so take the time TODAY to give a hug, a smile, an "I love you"...

JUST FOR TODAY, at a stranger
...listen to someone's heart
...drop a coin where a child can find it
...learn something new, then teach it to someone
...tell someone you're thinking of them
...hug a loved one
...don't hold a grudge
...don't be afraid to say "I'm sorry"
...look a child in the eye and tell them how great they are
...don't kill that spider in your house, he's just lost so show him the way out
...look beyond the face of a person into their heart
...make a promise, and keep it someone, for no other reason than to just say "hi" kindness to an animal
...stand up for what you believe in
...smell the rain, feel the breeze, listen to the wind
...use all your senses to their fullest
...cherish all of your TODAYS

Friends and your Self Esteem by Karl Perera

Friends are a huge influence on our lives, just think about it. They help us to move forward, they help us to develop our self-image, they help us with our approach to life and often give us a second opinion about issues that concern us. Unfortunately they can also be a negative influence. For these reasons your choice of friends is very important, not that I'm suggesting for a second that you should reject any friends you already have but do think about who you are and who you confide in.

Positive friendships

Hopefully your friends are helpful to you. What do I mean by helpful? Here's a small list of the help that friends can offer:

  • Moral support and encouragement
  • sympathy
  • helpful practical advice
  • positive talk which can help lift your mood
  • listening
  • agreeing with your decision or point of view thereby giving you added self confidence
  • pointing out your strengths
  • suggestions how you can help yourself
  • helping to make you see things from a different perspective
  • calming or steadying influence

Of course the wrong kind of friend can be quite the opposite and have a drastically negative influence. Dominating or unstable people do not make supportive friends and may directly or indirectly lower your sense of self esteem. These kind of friends will cause you to doubt yourself and your decisions and will help you to foster a negative self-image. You would be best to avoid these kind of people altogether and quite frankly no friends are better than these.

How to develop better friendships

Probably you will already have existing friendships which you value. Take a brief look again at those friendships and why you value those particular friends. If your friendships are less than perfect then ask yourself this: Can you improve your existing friendships and are you open to forming new maybe more positive and sharing ones?

The most important thing to mention at this point is that you shouldn't be thinking about what you can get from your friends - no, no, no! Every good friendship should be built upon selfless two-way win-win terms. Give before you take. If you give to a good friend you will always receive back in kind. I am here talking about improving relationships with all your friends and if you do have one or two friendships which are negative then try to change them before attempting to remove them from your life. Friendships are one of the keys to high self esteem and a balanced and effective life because you cannot feel good about yourself in isolation nor can you feel good if you do not help others. The quote I placed above in the food for thought section says it all, any stranger you meet should be a potential friend and you should always be open to this. 

A few points which are vital to creating better friendships:

  • give before you take
  • be kind
  • become more sociable and open to others
  • give more of yourself to others
  • be honest and trusting
  • listen rather than talk about yourself
  • give your own opinions when asked for and be honest
  • be polite always
  • smile
  • be helpful
  • think of the other person's view before you comment on their attitude or behaviour

Now I've written that list I too will try to follow my own advice because knowing these things is easy but practicing them is difficult. After all you are reading this newsletter to improve yourself and your level of self esteem therefore you are aspiring to an ideal, I wish you good luck and hope that something in this article has inspired you to become a better friend and so also to experience better friendships.

Self confidence as mentioned above is so important, this I highly recommend you do now :  

  • Build your Self Confidence - Hypnosis downloads - quick, easy and guaranteed to help you build your confidence (prepared by experienced psychologists and gets my full recommendation) I would also advise you consider getting the CD Trainer, the CD is not expensive and is wonderful, I listen to it regularly, it helps me, it'll help you too. 

See you next month! Oh, do check out the list of articles on my website

Karl Perera

Self Hypnosis download:

Building Self Esteem amazing download that will help you become more confident, get it now!

What is self hypnosis? click here to find out more


Check out all my book recommendations  

Check out Today's Deals from - some great ideas! 


Take a look at this selection of posters which will inspire you - click now for great motivational posters

If you suffer from depression then check out my other website 

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